22 February, 2008
White Room and Jungle Juice
Why would anyone put wall to wall carpeting in a bathroom? Why would they compound that idiocy by making it white carpet? Why am I asking? This morning as I drove home from work my mind wandered of its own accord (as it often does) to a party I attended while still a junior in high school. It wasn't one of my better moments but it is memorable for having introduced me to a wonderful concoction commonly known as "Jungle Juice". The ingredients for this delightful drink are simple: Hawaiian Punch and vodka (plus ice) mixed in a (presumably) clean ice chest. If mixed in proper proportions it tastes almost like straight Hawaiian Punch. And therein lies the problem, at least for me on that particular night. Since I have never liked beer I opted instead to drink liberally from a seemingly harmless ice chest of punch. So liberally, in fact, that I drank half the ice chest myself. Long story short, the vodka all kicked in at once and I soon found myself seeking the sanctuary of a toilet. That is when I first discovered the designing faux pas that is white carpet in a bathroom. Without being too graphic (I have a weak stomach myself) let me just say that the carpet was largely pink after I got finished emptying all my bodily fluids (or most, I did not urinate on the carpet after all). So the poor guy who had thrown this party while his parents were out of town had no hope of hiding his illegal little shindig thanks to me, a guy he had just met that night. For the rest of the time we were in school together he desperately wanted to kick my ass. Now why would this story come to mind some 17 years later? Furthermore, why would I share such random silliness? Obviously, if you are asking yourself that question right now you have not read the description of this blog. My mind wanders, I share, your life is enriched. It's been nearly six years since I've consumed alcohol of any type but damn if that story isn't funny. Serves people right for being designer retards.